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Toxic Goal #1 - "I want to be perfect"

Posted by administrator
Published on 21 December 2020

Sorry about the busy hands. It is so hard to be perfect. Whatever we mean by perfect.

I want to be perfect. So let's look at perfection...

5 + 2 = 7, 3 + 3 = 6, 2 + 2 = ?

If you answered 100 tough mathematical questions like these and they were all correct, you will score 100%.

Yes, a perfect score - but here we're talking about objective criteria. If you like tests, excellent - give yourself a gold star.

So perfection and perfectionism do exist - my apologies, a slip of the tongue in the video - perfection exists with this form of objective criteria.

'The limits of my language are the limits of my world.' Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Here are some subjective disciplines: politics, economics, art, fashion, design, cooking, and marketing. This is not an exhaustive list.

So, have you ever met the perfect speaker?

The perfect business partner or the perfect client? Have you ever driven the perfect car?

I suggest not because now we're talking about subjective criteria and your aim to be perfect is impossible.

We live in a semantic world where marketers sell us the need to be the perfect partner, the perfect mother or father, and raise perfect children. They live in the perfect house, in the perfect suburb.

If that isn't you, then you'd better up your game.

But what if you have a wonderful partner, house, and children? There isn't anything to do other than enjoy life and work on other projects.

Objectivity is purely subjective. Have you ever been a judge at a speech contest? Have you ever noticed that everybody applies those criteria subjectively, even with objective criteria? We all have a different lens on life.

If your aim as a speaker is to be perfect, what are your criteria for this?

When you have spent your life working that out, you suddenly realise that to be 'perfect' suggests that you can mind read the audience's subjective criteria for perfection too. I suspect you will be disappointed when you don't receive the approbation your 'perfection' deserves.

Effectively, you're trying to achieve the impossible dream. If you want to be a good speaker, an increasingly effective speaker, or an excellent speaker, then we can agree on outlining objective criteria for this.

Ticking boxes on technique is fairly easy. Perfection is impossible because your subjective criteria for perfection will never be accepted.

Your language and the story that you tell yourself are all-important. If you believe in perfection with subjective criteria, you're heading for a frustrating future.

Be prepared to lose your remaining friends and get comfortable with your lonely life.  

If you want to aim to be the best you can be, then welcome consistent achievement.

You'll have lots of friends and opportunities to excel in your field. You'll attract clients like a magnet.

It's hard to resist somebody giving it 100%, demonstrating humility and keeping it real.

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