Toxic Goal #10 - I want the audience to love me

Yes, it's wonderful have a great rapport with the audience.

Yes, it's great to feel valued by the audience.

Yes, there is no better job in the world than when you deliver great value to other human beings.

But you have to do this for the audience.

Our audience are hoping for an experience where they will learn some new strategies and insights into getting improved results. The speech or presentation is for the needs of the audience and not the needs of the speaker. 

If they get the impression that your delivery is conditional on something other than the respect, humility and empathy you've shown them, they are going to feel uncomfortable with that. 

There are some wonderful derivative benefits of being a good speaker; higher salary, more staff, bigger projects, more responsibility, travel options. But you do not get these things until you really learn to connect with the audience. If you appear needy, this will serve as client/colleague repellent. Doing a great job is your reward. 

When I worked in IT, I used to deliver 5 day classes. In 5 days you can really get to know people well. You can create a great personal and professional rapport with them. After 5 days in class, they would say nice things followed by the goodbyes. As they all left, I could feel my adrenaline plummeting to the floor. That fantastic energy that was unique to that group had just departed. It was my job then to tidy the room, gather my belongings and fill in the happy sheet. I really felt alone in these moments and wished that they would come back. That was my job to send them home happy after a solid learning experience. Much as I thoroughly enjoyed their company, I had to let them go knowing that I would soon be forgotten. And that was fine because my giving was unconditional, I neither wanted nor expected anything in return.