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Feel, felt, found - how to unstick a sticky situation

Posted by michael
Published on 12 January 2018


On my 5 Day Discovery courses, I invite my students to share any tricky communication issues experienced in their work. 
The idea is to throw the problem over to the wisdom of the group where it's discussed and mostly resolved.
The group usually has an interesting discussion on the pros and cons of the situation and we leave it to the individual to decide their next steps. 
One of the tough issues that some of my students face is selling - and I don't mean products or services.
My belief is that we are all salesmen and saleswomen and that comment is usually followed by, 'Well actually Vince, I'm a lawyer, doctor, accountant (or whatever their profession).'
But then I remark that when you're sitting around the table with your colleagues or clients, when you're talking about ideas, concepts, projects or plans - you're selling. You're selling your insights into critical issues and you want to be credible so you need to speak with conviction. 
We are all salesmen and saleswomen.
Last time, one of my students said he had experience with this and offered to deliver a short presentation on the subject raised and I'd like to share it with you
It's used when somebody is stuck while making a decision. 
It's called the feel, felt, found method, and it's really straightforward. Like all techniques, it must be used ethically to assist the person who is stuck.
First of all, listen to that person's problem and build some trust and rapport with them. Then respond as below.
Hi Jim, I used to feel exactly the same way as you about x,y and z. I felt that solution B would never manage x, y and z. But what I found was that it resolves x,y and z brilliantly. Just look at the outcomes.
I have used this model a few times recently to get some great results for my students. Always be prepared to listen to the wisdom of the crowd, the stats are highly supportive of this.
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