The message below was shared by a student on my fear of public speaking course over ten years ago. It demonstrates the power of the mind.
Below is an excerpt from my book entitled 'The Fear Doctor'. It's a short story of a student who had a life-changing experience on her travels. It's a story of courage and resilience. It's about making a choice. The good news is that students don't need a life-threatening experience to make positive decisions. All that's required is to make a choice and live by it.
They say that life is a journey and that the journey is about today’s path, and not the destination. I couldn’t agree more. In 1995, I set off for a six-month tour of south and central America. Every day was a different adventure, and on that path, you want to meet people who will bring you joy, share wonderful memories, and enrich your life. That’s how I remember even the tough times.
Not all journeys start and end well. Not all adventures result in happy memories. But the philosophers say it’s not what happens; it’s how you handle, manage and process what happens.
My student Nicola aged 33, is an amazing young woman who works for a charity. She’s ambitious and takes on far too much responsibility. This often results in stressful situations.
In 2012 she travelled to Central America with her boyfriend for an extended period. While in Nicaragua, both were abducted. Taken to an empty house where they were bound, gagged, and blindfolded for three days while the perpetrators cashed in on their credit cards. Under cover of darkness, they were dumped in a car boot, driven out into the semi-desert, and left for dead by the roadside.
They cried when the ordeal ended. A few miles down the road, they stumbled across a small settlement. The locals provided them with food, water, and shelter for the night.
‘It was a horrendous ordeal,’ she said to the class. ‘One that I’ll never forget. The aggression, the threats of violence, and the waving of pistols were terrifying. I will never forget what happened, nor will I be defined by what happened. I will not live in fear. I will live life on my terms. I will fulfil my potential. I am not afraid of anything.’
It takes character to find that level of courage and then to express it so succinctly. To make this statement with such clarity and determination sent a shiver through the classroom. Nicola then added that she and her boyfriend had split up. Not because they didn’t love each other but because they were each a constant reminder of the incident. They found it impossible not to repeatedly go over the details.
We have all had our share of ups and downs. When we are deep into shocking negativity, it’s good to know that we’re only ever a thought away from the light.
Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Sometimes life and love come at a high price.
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