In my fear of public speaking classes, I discuss the distinction between Fear and Anxiety because it's a slippery fish.
Fear is a good thing. It's an evolutionary mechanism designed to save your life and, in so doing, help to preserve the species.
Fear is a real physical threat to your life and to your body.
It invokes the fight or flight response - the sympathetic nervous system and an array of physiological reactions designed to redirect blood to your arms and legs, create a sense of heightened awareness, and help save your life.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is completely thought-generated.
It's what most people feel, to a greater or lesser degree, when they think about public speaking, asking someone on a date, playing and winning at sports, acting, and musicals (when we're seen in public and we believe we can't control the outcomes).
Anxiety is a perceived lack of control over outcomes.
As human beings, we like pleasure and certainty. What we don't like is pain (either physiological or psychological). We avoid it.
If we perceive we can't meet the correct outcomes, well, we're heading for criticism, or our ego (a perception of ourselves, our self-image) will take a knock.
As we grow older, we ascend both professional and social hierarchies, and the thought of screwing up and diminishing ourselves in others' eyes leaves us cold.
Our ancestors, going back millennia, didn't worry about bad relationships with accountants, customers, or HMRC over returns (common causes of today's anxiety and related stress). That wasn't life or death. These are modern-day manifestations.
They feared animal predators on the savannah and the tribe down the road who wanted to steal their water, crops, and animals.
At the moment they attack - that's fear. You've got to respond. It's life or death.
Whereas, if you're worried that they'll attack next week - that's anxiety. It's thought-generated.
My students possess anxiety. When they realise they're creating it themselves, it helps them see things differently.
Churchill was anxious that the Nazis were building a war machine that one day would threaten Britain.
His claims were ignored for years. People saw things differently when the Nazis attacked Poland, and the country responded.
Heading into battle, expect anxiety. The people who survive these encounters usually have the greatest clarity of thought.
When your ship is hit by a torpedo or missile, there isn't much time to think.
But the clarity of that thought (or focus) at the moment is what saves your life.
That's where I lead my students - into a resourceful state under pressure.
What does pressure mean? What are the options for a credible response? What can we do to mitigate the risk of a panic attack?
The clarity of your thoughts and actions during these moments determines the direction of your life. Getting ourselves together for the inevitable big moments that life throws our way is essential.
'Pressure is the privilege,' said Billie Jean King, because it allows us to show the world what we're capable of. The source of who you are.
When attacked by an alligator, this 10-year-old girl from Florida below was a quick thinker. She made a snap decision that saved her life. This is a brilliant example of clarity of thought in the moment.
For me, anxiety is ok.
A bit of stress makes you feel like you're alive. It's situation normal. Life without challenge is dull. We find brilliant ways to think ourselves out of a hole.
The pressure is good. It stretches you. We learn a lot about ourselves and our creativity. We have the innate capacity to develop.
Anxiety is a situation without yet a solution.
The situation will pass, and you will survive.
With anxiety, we don't usually need the level of protection that our mind and body offer.
When you can distinguish between a real threat and a perceived one, you're on the road to recovery and better outcomes.
Want some help getting there?
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