Reframing fear as excitement
Have you ever wondered what fuels anxiety?
It’s a common enough question, but the answer is somewhat elusive.
We become anxious when we’re uncertain that we can deliver the outcome. Let me explain…
If your train is 30 minutes late and there’s every chance you’ll miss your job interview appointment, get ready to become anxious. It’s out of your control, and your only responses are hope or prayer – or both.
On workdays, my wife checks her alarm clock three times before she goes to bed. Being late is bad for your reputation. It’s anxiety-inducing.
If you’ve had some medical problems, and the tests are taking time to come through. It’s on your mind, and you’re desperate for a positive outcome.
Your daughter has applied for a university placement in France. She has the qualifications, but there are limited numbers for the course. Will she get a placement? Anxiety-inducing.
People get anxious about going on dates. Your date might not show up. If that’s happened to you before, it could happen again. There are no guarantees in life. What are you going to wear? Will they like you? Will there be any chemistry between you?
Educational tests – exams – job interviews/promotions – competitive sport - the team you play for is top of the league with three games to go. Promotion is a different adventure. You want the outcome, but there’s no guarantee.
Adrenaline is the active ingredient in anxiety and fear. Your amygdala (a small part of your brain) sends an electro/chemical signal through your vagus nerve (one of the longest nerves in your body). The signal is picked up by receptor cells on top of your adrenal glands, and adrenaline is released into your bloodstream, giving you a heightened sense of awareness, like the feeling that you’re frightened for your life. Anxiety is always thought-generated, whereas fear is about a very real physical threat to life and limb. It invokes the sympathetic nervous system. Fear uses the same channels – a real physical threat. We call it fight or flight.
So, you’re 15 minutes into your date, and it’s going well. Good eye contact, genuine smiles and bubbling rapport. Is now a good time to ask for a second date? Too anxious to ask? You’ve had dinner, and they’re still laughing at your jokes. Offer to walk them back to their car. The offer is well-received. Is it worth a hug, a kiss, will there be a next time? We don’t know the outcome, but you must be in it to win it.
Great – you’ve secured the promise of a second date. How are you feeling? Wonderful, elated, they like you. There’s some chemistry. It’s a good feeling. Do you know where that surge of success is coming from?
You’re playing the last game of the season, and you need one more goal to seal promotion. You score with a diving header in the last minute. It’s a shame the cameras weren’t there to see it. How are you feeling? You answer, “Elated”. It’s adrenaline that makes you feel elated.
Following your flawless interview, you’ve been offered the job. A great opportunity, a wonderful salary and views across the river from the Shard. How are you feeling? Well, all that anxiety has disappeared, and it’s turned into success. It’s adrenaline driving that feeling of success.
But I thought adrenaline made me anxious, and now you’re telling me adrenaline makes me feel high. Yes, it’s adrenaline. There’s no high adrenaline or low adrenaline. What makes the sensation of high or low is how you perceive it in your brain.
Reframing is just about your thoughts. Focus on the outcome you’re looking for. Visualise, meditate, it will make you feel more confident.
Good luck with all of your anxiety-inducing activities. But remember that a swift change of thought process gets you in the mood for success.
