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Why it’s ok to hold authentic subjective opinions

Posted by sean
Published on 23 April 2022

On our 5-day Discovery Public Speaking Courses, we dive deep into debating and explore a handful of interesting topical issues. Have you tried debating with smart people? It's better than jumping from a plane with a parachute.

“Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.” ― Leo Tolstoy

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you were always right? When you’re doing things like mathematics, sure, once you’ve calculated your VAT for the quarter – you want to know you have the correct figure. There’s an objective answer.

Moving on, let’s look at subjective disciplines, of which there are many:

  1. Politics
  2. Art
  3. Fashion
  4. Cooking
  5. Management
  6. Gardening
  7. Business
  8. Economics
  9. Philosophy
  10. Leadership
  11. Football
  12. Music
  13. Religion
  14. Public Speaking

Thankfully, we don’t all see eye to eye on these issues. Life would be boring if we did.

Who’s the best footballer ever? Cricketer? Boxer? Leader? Singer? Philosopher? Who’s the most influential historical figure and why? There’s enough material there for years of subjective debate.

Who’s the best manager? David Brent from The Office would give you chapter and verse with his recommendation close to home, no doubt. The important thing about subjective debates is that there must always be leeway to agree to disagree. There must be light and latitude for creativity and difference to emerge. The delight of debate is to have fun in the research and delivery of the arguments, not to impose your thoughts/beliefs on others in the form of dogma.

People are seldom persuaded when you tell them that they’re wrong and you are right. For parents, there are many personal truths you have experienced throughout your life, but they don’t seem to translate easily for the next generation.

TV producers choose panel show guests on the basis that they hold deep-rooted views which will clash with other contributors. What makes excellent TV? – conflict – contentious guests with polarised views. What makes a great book, story, or TV thriller? Conflict.

Who is right or wrong? If you took a poll, it wouldn’t be a clear decision either way simply because every viewer has their standpoint.

Look at how election voting works in the UK. We have multiple parties with conflicting ideologies. Weighing up one complicated view against many others isn’t easy, even when presented with sound logical arguments. Can you trust those people? Do they have secret paymasters? What is their real agenda?

How about thinking – I don’t always get it right – in life, perhaps?

It’s easy to be wrong. By that, I mean doing the wrong thing for you and others.

I have been wrong about so many things over many years. There have been times when I’ve acted carelessly, irresponsibly, or indelicately. The most painful and damaging aspect is pretending that you’re still right or that you’re always right. Then you become righteous – which we recognize as a less than attractive personal attribute.

If you’ve had a breakup with a partner and you’re feeling down or aggrieved, look at that relationship. Was it everything you thought? Were there indications that things were ripe for change? We can all do things differently or better. Did you both give it 100%? Once it’s over – it’s over. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or not. The world’s moved on. Being right doesn’t take away the pain.

Hollywood produces blockbuster films every year, but it also creates its share of box-office flops. Experienced, knowledgeable people, get it wrong. It’s the same in the theatre, advertising, and just about every industry out there. When you’re working in subjective disciplines, there’s no guarantee of anything. Great marriages can fail. Famous football teams collapse. Business behemoths drop off the board.

As a footballer, I screwed up many times. The best and most appropriate thing is to apologize to your teammates. Ensure that it’s sincere and work hard on improving that aspect of your game. Humble pie is the best part of a team player’s nutrition.

People are remarkably supportive of others who are honest and hold their arms up and say, ‘I got it wrong. I’m sorry.’

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

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